THE CANONICAL COLLECTION OF OXYMORONS Civil Servant Athletic scholarship. business ethics "structured programming with goto statements." (book title) Group Health medical coverage Justice Berger a little big a twin advanced cobol almost perfect almost totally alone together american cheese approximately less than or equal to arbitrary fixed constant assembly language astrological forecast autistic behavior awful pretty baby grand piano beauty bark benevolent dictatorship black light british humor business ethics buy now and save c program cherry tart civil engineer civil servant civil war civilized world classical novel computer science computer security continental breakfast data base consistency death benefits dorm food drastic improvement duplicate original easy credit easy to revise educational television effective management elementary differential equations excess profit extreme moderation fast, cheap, and good fault tollerant systems final draft first annual foamsteel free society fresh frozen fun run funny oxymoron genteel snob genuine imitation good landlord. good lightbulb joke great regular flavor greatly reduced green oranges guest host gun safety happily married heights of depravity holy war homo sapiens hopelessly optimistic hot water heater human compassion humorous oxymoron idle gossip job fulfillment jumbo shrimp last train lean pork life insurance live recording live television low cost magnificent desolation management decision management potential marijuana initiative marital aids marketing person military budget military intelligence minor disaster moral duty mormon theology most unique (or very unique) negative feedback (?) non-stop flight nuclear safety od -x open loop opportunities at original copy peace offensive plain chocolate plastic glass plastic silverware political courtesy political science popular science postal service practically useless pretty ugly professional sports progressive conservatives proposed standard purdue football quite a few rational integer random logic real numbers recorded live rehabilitated criminal reputable salesman rock 'n roll music rock music rules of war safe medication safe risk safety strap (on skis) sanitary sewer scientific creationism silent 700 (a TI printing terminal) simple harmonic motion simple interest loan slow death software documentation software reliability sound of silence soviet republic/ people's republic steadfast flexibility sweet and sour sweet sorrow this page intentionally left blank thunderous silence timely and economical revisions unacceptable solution unix performance vacuum filled western civilization wet snow wonder bread essentially irrelevant From kgfox@eos.ncsu.edu Fri Jun 6 08:19:51 1997 Received: from eos05a.eos.ncsu.edu (eos05a.eos.ncsu.edu [152.1.25.6]) by eos03a.eos.ncsu.edu (8.8.4/ES19Dec96) with ESMTP id IAA00250 for ; Fri, 6 Jun 1997 08:19:51 -0400 (EDT) Received: from c11022-254dan.ece.ncsu.edu (makerpppi.ece.ncsu.edu [152.1.58.54]) by eos05a.eos.ncsu.edu (8.8.4/ES19Dec96) with SMTP id IAA06751; Fri, 6 Jun 1997 08:19:50 -0400 (EDT) Received: by c11022-254dan.ece.ncsu.edu (5.65/Eos/C-U-09Sep93) id AA01524; Fri, 6 Jun 1997 08:19:43 -0400 From: "Karen Gail Fox" Message-Id: <9706060819.ZM1522@eos.ncsu.edu> Date: Fri, 6 Jun 1997 08:19:41 -0400 X-Mailer: Z-Mail (3.2.1 15feb95) To: kaltofen@eos.ncsu.edu, kpaul@shop.cc.ncsu.edu, rclive@eos.ncsu.edu, sdbrooke@eos.ncsu.edu, ashley.donahue@ustra101.mail.abb.com, fox@bgsm.edu, maultsby@mindspring.com, spriggan@brown.edu, aakelly@nortel.ca, acb@worldnet.att.net, herkert@social.chass.ncsu.edu, benningf@aur.alcatel.com Subject: Oxymorons Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Status: ORr OXYMORONS: Act naturally Found missing Resident alien Advanced BASIC Genuine imitation Safe sex Airline food Good grief Same difference Almost exactly Government organization Sanitary landfill Alone together Legally drunk Silent scream British fashion Living dead Small crowd Business ethics Soft rock Butt head Military intelligence Software documentation California culture New classic Sweet sorrow Childproof "Now, then ..." Synthetic natural gas Christian Scientists Passive aggression Taped live Clearly misunderstood Peace force Toronto Life Temporary tax increase Computer jock Plastic glasses Terribly pleased Computer security Political science Tight slacks Definite maybe Pretty ugly Twelve-ounce pound cake Diet ice cream Rap music Working vacation Exact estimate Religious tolerance Microsoft Works and one of my personal favorites: Adult Male -- Karen G. Fox From jsgarlic@eos.ncsu.edu Thu Mar 5 17:14:37 1998 Received: from eos01mh.eos.ncsu.edu (eos01mh.eos.ncsu.edu [152.1.9.16]) by eos00mh.eos.ncsu.edu (8.8.7/8.8.7) with ESMTP id RAA01543 for ; Thu, 5 Mar 1998 17:14:36 -0500 (EST) Received: from segfault.csc.ncsu.edu (segfault.csc.ncsu.edu [152.1.29.70]) by eos01mh.eos.ncsu.edu (8.8.7/8.8.7) with SMTP id RAA17064 for ; Thu, 5 Mar 1998 17:14:35 -0500 (EST) Sender: jsgarlic@eos.ncsu.edu Message-ID: <34FF23CB.6288@eos.ncsu.edu> Date: Thu, 05 Mar 1998 17:14:35 -0500 From: Joanna Shannon Garlick Organization: North Carolina State University X-Mailer: Mozilla 3.01 (X11; I; SunOS 5.5.1 sun4m) MIME-Version: 1.0 To: kaltofen@eos.ncsu.edu Subject: oxymoron Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Status: OR Dr. Kaltofen - here are some oxymorons if you are still collecting them: "Free with purchase" Act naturally Same difference Constant change Exact estimate Found missing Graduate student Rolling stop Peace force Small crowd Unbiased opinion Sweet sorrow True story Virtual reality 12-ounce pound cake Civil War Final Version -- ************************************************************************ ~Joanna Shannon Garlick http://www4.ncsu.edu/~jsgarlic "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men" ~Willy Wonka ************************************************************************ From mrunyan@usa.net Sun Mar 1 11:42:48 1998 Received: from cc00ms.unity.ncsu.edu (cc00ms.unity.ncsu.edu [152.1.1.35]) by eos00mh.eos.ncsu.edu (8.8.7/8.8.7) with ESMTP id LAA03805 for ; Sun, 1 Mar 1998 11:42:47 -0500 (EST) Received: from absolut (b002h011.rh.ncsu.edu [152.7.8.11]) by cc00ms.unity.ncsu.edu (8.8.4/US19Dec96) with SMTP id LAA24471 for ; Sun, 1 Mar 1998 11:42:47 -0500 (EST) Received: by localhost with Microsoft MAPI; Sun, 1 Mar 1998 11:42:08 -0500 Message-ID: <01BD4507.10B72E90.mrunyan@usa.net> From: Matt Runyan To: "'kaltofen@eos.ncsu.edu'" Subject: Oxymorons Date: Sun, 1 Mar 1998 11:42:07 -0500 X-Mailer: Microsoft Internet E-mail/MAPI - 8.0.0.4211 Encoding: 138 TEXT Status: OR Dr. Kaltofen- You might enjoy this list of oxymorons someone sent me. -Matt -----Original Message----- >From: Barbara Culler [SMTP:b_culler@hotmail.com] Sent: Saturday, February 28, 1998 12:39 PM To: dlentz@mindspring.com; Doug_C_Heath@notes.ntrs.com; christy.benson@mci.com; rayulans@us.ibm.com; heathervincent@hotmail.com; morlando@us.ibm.com; bill_vincent@hotmail.com; vinc5740@fredonia.edu; ghumri@us.ibm.com; bculler@hotmail.com; andynasrallah@hotmail.com; jeffbt@mindspring.com; mrunyan@usa.net; frierys@yahoo.com; mazen@ibm.net; swerley@us.ibm.com Subject: Fwd: Laugh-A-Lot! 2/27/98 - What'd You Call Me?!? ~~~ "Unbiased" Oxymorons ~~~ Ancient Greek: Oxus = "Sharp" Moros = "Dull" "Oxymoron" = A Sharp Dullness Or A Foolish Wise. ...A Self Contradicting Phrase. A Little Big Fresh Exhaust Progressive Conservative Absolute Uncertainty Fresh Frozen Proprietary Standard Academic Sorority Friendly Takeover Pure Garbage Accurate Stereotype Full-Length Bikini Rap Music Act Naturally Full-Time Day Care Real Fantasy Active Reserve Fuzzy Logic Real Numbers Adult Children Gentleman Pirates Real Potential Advanced BASIC Genuine Fake Recently New Affordable Luxury Genuine Imitation Reckless Caution Aging Yuppie Genuine Veneer Relative Truth Almost Exactly Gold Silverware Resident Alien Alone Together Good Grief! Restrained Opulence American English Graduate Student Rock Opera Anarchy Rules! Green Orange Rolling Stop Art Student Ground Floor Rubber Bones Artificial Grass Growth Recession Rubber Cement Artificial Intelligence Guest Host Rush Hour Assistant Supervisor Gunboat Diplomacy Same Difference Authentic Reproduction Half Dead Saving Price Automated Data Entry Hard Water Savings & Loan Awfully Good Helicopter Flight School Vacation Balding Hair Highly Depressed Scottish Danish Bankrupt Millionaire Holy War Second Best Beginning Finnish Home Office Secular Religion Bittersweet Honest Crook Security Risk Black Light Huge Market Niche Self-Help Groups Blameless Culprit Idiot Savant Semi Truck Boneless Ribs Important Game Semi-Boneless Bricked-Up Windows Industrial Park Serious Fun Broad Tip Initial Result Serious Rest Budget Deficit Institutional Revolutionary Short Length Butt Head Jumbo Shrimp Silent Alarm Casual Intimacy Kosher Ham/Pork Silent Scream Cheerful Pessimist Lace-Up Loafers Simply Superb Civil War Least Favorite Single Family Civilized Divorce Legally Drunk Single Pair Classic Rock Leisure Industry Singles Group Clean Dirt Light Weight Situational Ethics Clean Hack Limited Lifetime Guarantee Small Crowd Clearly Confused Linear Curve Social Science Clearly Misunderstood Liquid Crystal Soft Rock Coca-Cola Foods Liquid Gas Solid Glass Coed Fraternity Literal Interpretation Solitary Group Colored Music Live Recording Special Rights Common Sense Loose Tights Speed Limit Completely Unfinished Mandatory Options Spiritual Materialism Compulsory Volunteers This List Compiled by Still Life Computer Jock Straight Hook Conservative Democrat Meatless Hamburger Student Athlete Conspicuous Absence Mild Interest Student Teacher Constant Change Military Peace Styrofoam Peanut Constant Variable Mini Marathon Summer School Cooperative Multitasking Minor Miracle Sweet Sorrow Countable Infinity Model Prisoner Synthetic Natural Gas Country Club Prison Modern History Taped Live Crash Landing Modified Final Judgement Tax Refund Curved Line Mutual Differences Ten-Ounce Pound Cake Death Benefits Mutually Exclusive Terminal Initialization Decaffeinated Espresso Near Miss Terribly Amusing Definite Maybe Never Generalize Terribly Enjoyable Deliberately Thoughtless New Classic Terribly Pleased Developed Child New Olds(Mobile) Thunderous Silence Diet Ice Cream New Tradition Tight Slacks Disgustingly Good Night Light Toll Free Dividend Tax No-Fault Divorce Tone Color Divorce Court Noble Savage Traffic Flow Down Elevator Non-Alcoholic Beer Tragic Comedy Down Escalator Non-Binding Contract True Gossip Dress Pants Non-Commercial Sponsor True Replica Drip Dry Non-Dairy Creamer True Story Dry Ice Non-Working Mother Turned Up Missing Dry Lake Oddly Appropriate Unbiased Opinion Dry Vermouth Old News Unbiased Predisposition Dry Wine Only Choice Uncommitted Voter Duplicate Original Open Secret Uncrowned King Easy-Open Cap Original Copy Uninvited Guest Elevated Subway Paid Volunteers United States Entire Portion Parking Space Unsalted Saltines Even Odds Partial Cease-Fire Unsung Hero Exact Estimate Partially Honest User-Friendly War Exit Interview Partially True Vacant Lot Extensive Briefing Partly Pregnant Vegetable Beef Soup Factual Inaccuracies Passive Activity Violent Agreement Failing Health Passive Aggression Virtual Reality Fallout Shelter Peace Force Voluntary Compliance First-Strike Defense Philosophy Science Waiting Patiently Fish Farm Plastic Glass Wandering Shepherd Flat-Busted Plastic Silverware War Games Flexible Freeze Player Coach White Rose Foolish Wisdom Pop Art Wireless Cable Forward Lateral Practical Logic Woods Metal Found Missing Preservational Development Working Vacation Free Agent Pretty Ugly Yellow Rose Freezer Burn Primitive Culture Yellow Violet Some Onymoron Phrases: All The Way Through A Portion Free With Purchase Are You Asleep? Include Me Out As Famous As The Unknown Soldier Now, Then... Back To The Future One Size Fits All Benign Military Occupation Different, Like Everybody Else. Best Of Geraldo Ready-To-Eat Frozen Dinner Better Than New Thank God I'm An Atheist Brief After-Dinner Speech That Shoe Fits Him Like A Glove. Can I Ask You A Question? Thirty-Day Mini-Jumbo CD Easy To Assemble This Page Intentionally Left Blank Fighting For Peace You cannot know anything for sure - Compiled by laughalot-owner@graceweb.org Forward only in entirity! ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com From kgfox@nortel.ca Mon Jul 6 11:05:54 1998 Received: from eos01mh.eos.ncsu.edu (eos01mh.eos.ncsu.edu [152.1.9.16]) by eos00mh.eos.ncsu.edu (8.8.7/8.8.7) with ESMTP id LAA25647 for ; Mon, 6 Jul 1998 11:05:53 -0400 (EDT) Received: from mailgate.nortel.ca (mailgate.nortel.ca [192.58.194.74]) by eos01mh.eos.ncsu.edu (8.8.7/8.8.7) with ESMTP id LAA24888 for ; Mon, 6 Jul 1998 11:05:54 -0400 (EDT) Message-Id: <199807061505.LAA24888@eos01mh.eos.ncsu.edu> Received: from zrtps008 (actually zrtps008.us.nortel.com) by mailgate; Mon, 6 Jul 1998 10:57:09 -0400 Received: from us.nortel.com by zrtps008.us.nortel.com id <20941-0@zrtps008.us.nortel.com>; Mon, 6 Jul 1998 09:03:41 -0400 Date: 06 Jul 1998 09:03 EDT Sender: "Karen Fox" To: kaltofen@eos.ncsu.edu From: "Karen Fox" Subject: fw:HUM: Son of Oxymorons (**1/2) X-Attachments: "ORIGINAL.HEADER" (type: text) MIME-version: 1.0 Content-type: multipart/mixed; boundary="SFnML4lrGKh8lbCf4ppXDhPWRhdnU29S" Status: O --SFnML4lrGKh8lbCf4ppXDhPWRhdnU29S Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" ---forwarded-message----> Son of Oxymorons. 50. Chicken fajitas 49. Government assistance 48. Net security 47. Jump start 46. Film critic 45. Marriage councellor 44. Sex Education 43. Golf fashion 42. Sleeper hit 41. Word Perfect 40. Artificial intelligence 39. Religious Right 38. Post Modern 37. German Food 36. Bug Fix 35. Near miss 34. Republican Party 33. Legal ethics 32. Postal service 31. Jumbo shrimp 30. Beaucractic efficiencies 29. Half naked 28. Freezer burn 27. Old news 26. White chocolate 25. Working vacation 24. Loose tights 23. Original copy 22. Recorded live (version of #20. Taped live) 21. Dull roar 20. Plastic silverware 19. Fresh frozen 18. Service station 17. Common courtesy 16. Foolproof instructions 15. Moral majority 14. Deficit spending 13. Social security 12. Half full 11. Exxon cleanup 10. Compassionate management 9. Truthful tabloids 8. Reagan memoirs 7. Holy war 6. Clean coal 5. Friendly fire 4. Professional wrestling 3. Soviet Union 2. Job security and the absolute, #1 oxymoron: 1. Country music Submitted by: Phil Watkins @ unicom.net --SFnML4lrGKh8lbCf4ppXDhPWRhdnU29S Content-type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" Received: from mailgate.nortel.ca (actually bcarsde4) by bcarsadb; Sun, 5 Jul 1998 08:59:45 -0400 Received: from www.lyris.net by mailgate; Sun, 5 Jul 1998 08:59:14 -0400 Return-Path: Received: from 38.234.171.3 by www.lyris.net (Lyris SMTP service); 04 Jul 98 18:50:04 PDT7 from: to: Received: from [207.172.95.147] (207-172-95-147.s20.as1.dwt.erols.com [207.172.95.147]) by pop.corpsite.com (8.8.5/8.7.3) with ESMTP id VAA24157 for ; Sat, 4 Jul 1998 21:02:29 -0500 (EST) Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" X-Sender: oracle@pop.synapse.net Message-Id: <667675-278541@lyris.net> Date: Sat, 4 Jul 1998 22:03:21 -0400 To: Oracle Service Humor Mailing List >From: Oracle Service Humor Mailing List Subject: HUM: Son of Oxymorons (**1/2) X-Message-Id: List-Unsubscribe: Reply-To: Oracle Service Humor Mailing List Sender: bounce-oracle-humor-278541@lyris.net Precedence: bulk X-Lyris-To: [kgfox@nortel.ca] X-Lyris-MemberID: 278541 X-Lyris-MessageID: 667675 --SFnML4lrGKh8lbCf4ppXDhPWRhdnU29S-- From kgfox@nortel.ca Wed Jul 1 09:18:43 1998 Received: from mailgate (mailgate.nortel.ca [192.58.194.74]) by eos00mh.eos.ncsu.edu (8.8.7/8.8.7) with ESMTP id JAA17992 for ; Wed, 1 Jul 1998 09:18:42 -0400 (EDT) Message-Id: <199807011318.JAA17992@eos00mh.eos.ncsu.edu> Received: from zrtps008 (actually zrtps008.us.nortel.com) by mailgate; Wed, 1 Jul 1998 09:18:14 -0400 Received: from us.nortel.com by zrtps008.us.nortel.com id <23569-0@zrtps008.us.nortel.com>; Wed, 1 Jul 1998 09:17:02 -0400 Date: 01 Jul 1998 09:16 EDT Sender: "Karen Fox" To: kaltofen@eos.ncsu.edu From: "Karen Fox" Subject: Top 50 OXYMORONS Status: OR Dr. Kaltofen, I just received this list and thought there may be some in here that you didn't have. And what about "Graduate student"? Enjoy. Karen Top 50 OXYMORONS: 50. Act naturally 49. Found missing 48. Resident alien 47. Advanced BASIC 46. Genuine imitation 45. Airline Food 44. Good grief 43. Same difference 42. Almost exactly 41. Government organization 40. Sanitary landfill 39. Alone together 38. Legally drunk 37. Silent scream 36. British fashion 35. Living dead 34. Small crowd 33. Business ethics 32. Soft rock 31. Butt Head 30. Military Intelligence 29. Software documentation 28. New York culture 27. New classic 26. Sweet sorrow 25. Childproof 24. "Now, then ..." 23. Synthetic natural gas 22. Christian Scientists 21. Passive aggression 20. Taped live 19. Clearly misunderstood 18. Peace force 17. Extinct Life 16. Temporary tax increase 15. Computer jock 14. Plastic glasses 13. Terribly pleased 12. Computer security 11. Political science 10. Tight slacks 9. Definite maybe 8. Pretty ugly 7. Twelve-ounce pound cake 6. Diet ice cream 5. Rap music 4. Working vacation 3. Exact estimate 2. Religious tolerance 1. Microsoft Works