HOPE

Judy and I have been spending much more family time together with Hope. I've only been practicing my wheelchair racing twice a week lately - I do believe that my motivation (obsession) is subsiding. I got a play-nurse kit for Hope, and she loves it. When she's playing, she comes over to me in her nurse outfit and asks me if I need anything (in her adorable broken english). I play along and ask her for a snack. She always brings me the processed fruit snacks that she loves so much, even though I don't always eat them.

Hope is also asking me a lot of questions about my paralysis and why I am in a wheelchair. I am very honest with her these days when explaining my accident, because I want her to know how fragile the body really is. Whenever we see another person in a wheelchair at the mall or store, she always goes up to them and says hello. The person will just look at me and usually smile when he or she sees that I am also a paraplegic. I really do hope she becomes a nurse, not only because it is a great job, but because I would love to have her look over me when I am older.

Like I've said before, "The greatest thing we'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."

BREAK TIME

I've been taking it a little easier with my handcycle practice routines because I realize that I have been neglecting Judy and Hope. The other day, Hope fell down our staircase while I was out working on my racing times. She is fine, but I felt really bad, because I barely watch after her anymore. I realize that I've been trying to overcome my inability to walk through my wheelchair racing. It's as if I can see myself being accepted as normal by the people around me if I excel in some sports activity. What I overlook is that they already accept me and my paralysis - I'm the one who need to accept myself.

Hope is now getting ready for school, and I expect her to need guidance and encouragement while she prepares to go through the school system. With all the knowledge I've attained in my life, this may be the greatest race I will ever be a part of. I have already begun sitting down with Hope at night and reading to her (something I hadn't done since she was a baby). I can see that she really appreciates my time with her. She points at the pictures in the books I read to her, and I tell her the name of the object she's pointing to. She then repeats the word until she gets it right. This happens every time we open one of her children's books. I can tell that she is very excited about growing up. I don't want to miss her childhood years by obsessing over my inability to walk. Hope can walk just fine, and she will walk for me where my footsteps ended.

The greatest victory of my life may not be in finishing Sadler’s Alaska Challenge, but in seeing my baby girl achieve her life's dream. Even at her young age, she insists that she wants to be a nurse. I cannot think of a better contribution to my world than helping her win that race.

A HELLO TO ARMS!

Well, you should see my arms now! Judy has been saying that they look bigger and stronger due to my daily handcycling practice. I haven't been using my electric wheelchair, because I want to keep building strength in them. Whenever I am out in my manual wheelchair these days, I can't help but try to out run Judy and Hope. Hope loves it! She starts to yell, "Wait Daddy, wait Daddy," and runs after me. I can see Judy just nodding her head and smiling, "alright, come on you two!" We have a blast! Hope is starting to get interested in my handcycling and even tries to sit in my wheelchair to play along. "Look, Daddy!" is all I hear. I do wheelies in my manual wheelchair to amuse her, and she always laughs. She is my angel.

I recently bought a new battery powered tire pump, and it's a great convenience. I also got some carbon fiber tires, and they usually cost $1500 new, but I was lucky and found some used ones for $450. I also got some special racing gloves which really relieve the strain on my hands. I used to sell medical equipment for living, and I always know where to look for the best prices.

I've been averaging 9 mph in my 100 meter practice runs, but I have learned that it isn't the strongest person who wins a race, it is the person who last the longest. Racing wheelchairs is an long endurance contest. You may not be the strongest or fastest person on the race course, but if you can keep pushing it for long periods, you may just find yourself in first place. This is what I am going to practice next. I will be doing 1 mile courses around my neighborhood (there's a golf course walking trail that's perfect.) I can't wait to be ready to start racing.