HOPE'S PLAYGROUND

This morning, Hope (my daughter) asked me why I never go into the playground with her like mommy does. How do you explain paralysis to a 3 year old girl, especially when you are her father and in a wheelchair? I don't want her to have pity for me - I want to be her hero. I explained that daddy was in an accident, and that my legs have to rest for some time before I can get up and play with her. That immediately broke my heart, because I knew I was never going to be able to live up to what I had just told her. I felt ashamed. I felt like a liar. I felt like a bad father.

I am writing this post to let others learn from my mistake today. I don't feel that we should pretend to be something we're not. If we are bound to a wheelchair and have to live life in this situation, then why are we afraid to have people love us less if we can't walk? Do hospitals lie to a patient's family, even in the worse cases? Usually they don’t. Doctors and nurses don't wander from the truth because they are not personally involved. I remember my doctor explaining my situation to me when I was in the hospital after my accident. I lay there, surrounded by medical equipment which I couldn't even identify (remember that I used to buy and sell medical and hospital equipment for a living up until then), scared to death of what kind of future I had in store for me, and he told me the absolutely truth.

I've been living with that truth every day since I left the hospital, trying to find some meaning with my life as it is. So why did I lie to Hope? There are many things that I can do with her, but I've been too frightened of rejection to start trying. I know now that I have to love and accept myself before I can truly bond with Hope. Yes, I may never be able to run around with her in the playground, or even push her on the swing like I'd like to, but I'm learning that I can be her hero by telling her the truth and trusting her love. That will be our playground.

THE IRONY OF LIFE

Ever since my automobile accident in 2002, I have been living with paralysis. When I was first woke up in the hospital, completely surrounded by medical equipment, and was told that I would probably not walk again, I was devastated. The news hit my wife very strongly, also. We were told that we probably wouldn't be able to have our own children, and I thought that I might lose her. Now I was facing the possibility of life in a wheelchair, alone, without the love of my life. Judy didn't leave me though - it seemed that my accident somehow made our love stronger.

I used to be away, traveling on business all the time, and that was beginning to distance us. I'd come home after being away for approximately a week at a time when I was a medical broker, buying and selling hospital equipment such as hospital beds, wheelchairs, mobility scooters and physical therapy supplies to other countries. Judy would greet me with a kiss and smile, but that kiss was beginning to take on a colder frown every time I got back. In 2004, I started my own online business and now work from home. This has brought my wife and I closer like never before. One year ago, we adopted a baby girl and named her "Hope".

I now rely on medical equipment in a completely different way - I no longer buy and sell it, but I use it to live as normal a life as I can. It seems that my fate was laced with a sense of irony which I could have never predicted. I realize now that I might have destroyed my relationship with Judy, letting my former occupation and non-stop work schedule alienate me from my wife. I now have a new kind of "Hope" in my life that makes me realize why I'm here. To quote a pretty well known song, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." I love you Judy and Hope. Thank you for loving me.

I am providing some information below to make others aware of paralysis and the options we have for living with it.


What is paralysis?

Paralysis means the loss of contraction of muscles due to interruption of one or more of the motor pathways that conduct impulses from the brain to the muscle fiber. It results in a complete or partial loss of function of a part of the body, and/or the loss of the ability to move, and/or a state of powerlessness or incapacity to act. It can result in atrophy (a decrease in size or wasting) of the affected muscle mass.


What are the causes of paralysis?

Vascular diseases of the brain exceed all others causes of paralysis in frequency. Some of the underlying causes of vascular diseases are hypertension, diabetes mellitus, hypercholesterolemia, hardening of the arteries, cigarette smoking, obesity, genetic factors, emotional stress, and physical inactivity. Trauma ranks second and other diseases such as brain tumor, brain abscesses, and encephalitis, demyelinative diseases, complications of meningitis, tuberculosis, and syphilis are of decreasing order of importance.


What is meant by plegia?

The word plegia means paralysis. It comes from the Greek word meaning stroke.


What is meant by paresis?

Lesser degrees of paralysis are sometimes spoken of as paresis.


What are the types of paralysis ?

Paraplegia is a paralysis of the lower half of the body with involvement of both legs.

Hemiplegia is a paralysis of half of the body or part of it from injury. It results in loss of strength in arm, leg, and sometimes the face on one side of the body.

Quadriplegia is a paralysis of both arms and both legs.


What can be used at home to help a paralyzed patient?

In the living quarters; hand bars (especially at the tub and toilet), ramps and other aids should also be installed.


What supportive care can be helpful to a paralyzed patient?

Occupational and physical therapy should emphasize using the effected limbs and to help improve walking, mobility, eating, dressing, toilet functions, avoiding bed ulcers and improving other basic needs.

Early treatment, encouragement, and awareness about the patient's environment are important. The patient and his relatives and friends must understand the nature of the disabilities and the likelihood that progress will occur but will take time, patience, and perseverance.
There are many products available for the Paralyzed person, that could help to increase their quality of life and provide more independence, these products may be as valuable to the family or care-giver as to the patient or user.