new
new
Before grammar, I used to have 20 words to start sentences with — now I only have five!
Her brothers follow all the rules and stuff, except for one thing. They hurt people.
Dad: Your emergency is not everyone's.
Frances: Well it is for me!
Frances: Dad, I can ride my two-wheeler by myself!
Dad: Wow, really?!
Frances: And I've got a secret.
Dad: What?
Frances: I'm also a secret agent. Don't tell anyone.
Frances: I doodled in Spanish to stay awake and my teacher saw.
Dad: I recently read an article that suggested that doodling helps students focus their attention.
Frances: Well my Spanish teacher obviously didn't read that article, Dad.
19 months
Oh-OH!
E-I-O!
HocKEY!
Bird, bunny, bubbles, snow, HOT!
2002
2 years old
Momma hot, Daddy hot, Ellie hot, bottle?
Ellie bye-bye, school.
Mommy, sit down. Read a book.
I love Daddy, I love Ellie, I love Mommy.
Daddy, sit down!
Ellie hit here. Boo-Boo Bunny!
Daddy, I LOVE you! You sit down, here, now, Barney.
Daddy finish book. Another book, another book!
Daddy: Did you have alphabet soup for supper?
Frances: I ate a P.
How you, Mommy?
My go get moom. Daddy get moon. Mommy get moon?
Mommy have 'puter, Daddy have 'puter, Ellie have 'puter. Frances want 'puter!
Daddy, where ARE you???!
High-five, Daddy, NOW.
Daddy: What color balloon would you like?
Frances: Three balloons!
Daddy, sit down: Simsims on.
NoNoNoNO!
Wetwipe.
Body.
2003
3 years old
Sam's not workin'. Where's Sam? Sam's sleepin'. Sam's cryin' [Sam — family cat: 1986-March 23, 2003].
Wake up! It's stopped nighting outside.
I want to do that! I need to be bigger. I want to pretend I'm four.
When's it going to stop darking outside?
That flower's not working.
I know, I have a grand idea!
Because you're a big man, you can do things on your own Daddy.
That squirrel's broken.
Me got an elephant in my mouth!
My nose smells nice.
Dad, remember one thing at the time ... and then the other thing.
The puppets walked to the forest but they couldn't go because my hand was not too long.
No matter.
Eleanor's gotta put her friends back.
If a car got over me, I wouldn't be working and you'd have to get a new Frances.
Shhh, you no talk to Ellie now, you MY Daddy and we need Ellie to be quiet!
It's not seven o'clock outside!
Mommy: You break my heart!
Frances: No, Mommy, your heart's fixed now.
Come inside so the night doesn't get us!
I need to close this so the dark not get outside.
My already went potty yesterday.
I love you Daddy and Ellie has to love Mommy.
Mommy: Frances loves Mommy?
Frances: I like my Dad!
Me playing with people. Me had some people come over to me and they were talking to me!
I want to brush my teeth on people.
It's raining dots.
If I ate my fingers, then I would have silly hands.
Mom, why do I cry all the time? All day long it seems like I'm always crying. I'm crying at Dad's. I'm crying here. I'm mad and crying when I wake up. Am I angry? I don't know why I cry so much. I don't cry at school, or get mad, or go poop, 'cause I don't want my teachers to see that.
Toes talk sometimes.
Daddy: Frances, look at all the marker on my table!
Frances: It's good that I didn't get it on your floor!
I was in Mommy's tummy when I was a little baby. I was in your tummy too, Daddy.
You gotta be a dog, Daddy: make a "rough" sound and be your tongue out.
Wow, you really do need to, I really need to doctor yourself. You're still really sick.
Peter Rabbit's just a bunny standing up, Daddy. I don't like that.
I go pee-pee. You go get Mom. And then we have a plan.
Daddy: I think the sun's going down.
Frances: Why?
Daddy: I don't know.
Frances: I think it's tired from the rain and the Spring Break.
I'm sweating up!
You can't blow my nose because you're just a man.
I know how to get out of PBS Kids. You just click something that matches!
I just 'member, I've gotta call Mona. I've got a list.
The chicken he didn't get much fun in the game of homework.
Daddy: Your arm's so smooth.
Frances: Your arm's so colorful!
I'm so big, I know how to reach things, I know how to go to pre-school, I know how to do everything by myself!
When I was a little baby, I died, and then I became a little girl.
Mom, I understand what Dad says but I don't understand what you say, 'cause you use big words and Daddy uses little words.
I'm almost four and I understand a lot of things. And Dad tells me lots of things and after a week I understand them too!
I'm not a little help. I'm just a little girl who loves her Daddy.
[Looking at a VW Bug] Is that a pretend car?
[In traffic] Hey, why's everybody parking?!
You have to pick Peter Rabbit up because he's a pretend animal and he can't walk on his own.
Ellie, I don't want you to be helpful!
You know, Mommy, Mona and I are not the same person. Because Mona is Mona, and I'm Frances.
2004
4 years old
I'm not four, I'm four-and-a-half!
How 'bout we have popcorn, because popcorn's not chocolate Daddy.
I'm pretending your cheek is a trampoline and my finger is jumping on it.
The kitties were playing
But the bad guy was coming
But he wasn't really the bad guy
He was the saving guy
There to save them [6.19.04]
You don't know how to make money but I do — with paper and scissors.
Daddy: Next time I go to the doctor, will you come with me?
Frances: Sure, but I can't drive?!
Words are not beautiful.
Boys don't be angels.
[Watching famous person's memorial] Aaggh. Mom. Are they going to open it? I'm scared of seeing dead people!
It's a flow because Mom loves flowers. Mom loves flowers because they're smell and they're a girl too. We're both boys Dad.
No you don't love it, Dad, 'cause there's no name on it!
That movie that we saw today that was so stupid because that girl who was a kittie cat, she didn't even have a tail!
Butterflies aren't scary!
Maybe your comb hid itself. Because I didn't do it, you didn't do it, everybody in the whole world didn't do it. Maybe you could pretend something else is your comb.
I'm four and I don't know how to skate yet and ride a motorcycle either.
The Momma panda was DEAD ... 'n' I don't know where the Daddy panda was — maybe hunting or something?
I'm pretending I'm evil — watch this.
It can't be too tight or too loose. It has to be middling.
But where's MY e-mail?
If we're gonna buy books with this money, we're going to need a liberry card.
The snail's not scared. They only think they're scared. But they're not.
Babies can't be three. They have to grow up to do that.
Dad, you can teach me how to read and I'll teach you how to write and to sing high and low.
People pretend that God has more things to do.
We have to pretend you have a tail because you're only a person.
Dad, I gotta make your hair look like Doc Oct's hair.
Dad, where do we go if we get dead?
I know Dad! How 'bout you scratch my bottom while I brush my teeth!
Look Dad, Mom gave me this Spider-man thing that I can wear every day!
What does changing your mind mean? Because I've changed my mind about her.
Pooh and Franklin and Maisy are all different because they have all of these animal friends.
Dad, I have to grow up, to be five, and six, and seven. I have to grow like this plant.
Stop calling me creative! I don't even want to hear those words, those letters, or even those sounds.
This map doesn't know how to get there.
I'm so good at things that you don't know.
Tigers are made of cats; I'm made of people.
Dad, like some coffee? I have sunshine coffee, moon coffee, towel coffee, and shampoo coffee.
Try to understand the words, Dad.
Dad, one day can Mona come to your house? I tell her that you have lots of junk food.
This is the perfect day for me — I have pockets all over!
Dad, could you teach me how to skip? I don't know how to skip. I only know how to gallop.
Dad, lookit me! I'm pretending I'm late!
It's a picture of me and Mom. Mom's happy and I'm all powerful.
I can say it the usually way or I can say it the unusually way.
Dad, I was wondering: When babies were babies, how could they brush their teeth?
I've got a plan. I'll be Spider-man and you be the Tickle-man.
I make a sun with two eyes on it and a big happy face. But not a nose, because sun's don't have noses on it.
That's like the tiger in the Monsters of Oz!
Dad, if you want this pen, you have to give me 30 dollars. Do you have any 30 dollars?
Dad, he's not a man: he's a talking octopus.
If Peter Parker likes Mary Jane, why doesn't he spend time with her?
Here's the rules of the game. The first rule is to play long. The second rule is not to hit or kick.
Dad, do you know how many people are in the world? Two and one hundred and eighty-two hundred.
How does Santa get through a tiny chimney. That's what I've been wondering about.
A little bit of that tiny soap got swallowed by my mouth. It got in by itself.
Daddy: Ladybug couldn't have gone far — the doors are closed.
Frances: But were the doors locked?
All my friends speak my language. He didn't speak my language.
Dad, those aren't stars. They're little dots.
Daddy: What am I going to do when you grow up?
Frances: You're going to die. You're going to be died.
It wasn't a story — it was a real happening.
Why do we cover our mouth when we cough?
Dad, we can't brush our teeth yet because we forgot to make Mom something because she might be sad if we don't make her something and we don't want that. I wonder what we're going to make?
This is water and wait-till-it-cools-down coffee.
How 'bout ice cream cream with cream in it? Would you like that?
Let me think. This is the ways eyes goes. Let me do eyebrows first.
Daddy, I want to give you a big wild hug!
When I'm five, I'm gonna learn not to hurt anybody and when it's Halloween I'm gonna learn to wipe my bottom.
I'm not ready yet. I just have to get as pretty as I look.
Dad, can I go to the bathroom? Oops, I can't say, "Can I go to the bathroom," because you know that. I mean, I always go to the bathroom. I can do that. I mean, "I'm going to the bathroom now."
You're being weird, Dad. You're being weird to the world.
Frances: I got all dressed by myself!
Daddy: Well what am I supposed to do?
Frances: You get to do grownup things. You have to cook dinner, you have to work, you have to take me to school, and you have to do whatever, except my things.
My teacher, her lives on the highway.
I have blueberry, flower, towel, moon, glasses, and bubble coffee. Which would you like?
No, this story's too happy.
But good luck isn't good!
Once upon a time, there was a girl and her name was Eleanor, and she had a wonderful birthday party, and she was five-years old, and she went away to college but she didn't have any friends and at home she waited for them to play.
He's a him because he's a boy.
I want to have a sleepover with you and I love you and I'm sorry that I hit you and I love you but I just really want to come to your house but I love you and I will tell you about school and I'll um I'll I'm sorry that I did something and I love you but I just want to say that I will miss you and I'll do what you want to say. And that's all.
I'm gonna be a farmer and veterinarian and, if any farm animals get sick, then I can look after them.
This is a great day — I keep coming back to your house!
2005
5 years old
The pleasant collegance. Put your hand here. Look at the flag. United States. America. We'll be good. Invisible.
Whenever I put my feet on you, that means I love you.
I'm gonna sit next to Daddy. Daddy's more common.
Would you like a toy with that? We have a couple of dogs and something that moves, but it doesn't work, so you can't have that.
If you can count how many leaves there are on the tree, then I don't have super invisible powers.
I can do it, I can do it. Except I'm saying it so nobody else can hear.
In the dream, Eleanor put a bumblebee in my bed!
This animal is my first favorite, and this one is my second favorite, and this one is my second third favorite, and this one is my second the other one.
Dad, you're not scared: You're just staring. Do it like this.
Poem three is really hard. It's purple. Poems one and two were pink.
Norway is really far away, like a hundred years of far away.
They fight a lot because they're two heads. Two-headed dragons fight a lot 'cause you can't do what you want to do.
How does the light know when the cars are coming?
Frances: I like this show.
Daddy: What's it about?
Frances: It's called "Baby Surgery."
Daddy, you missed the ending. It was really great: The girl married the boy. And then the girl turned into a witch.
Daddy: Don't worry about getting a chair for your restaurant. Some restaurants, like Indian and Japanese ones, don't even use chairs.
Frances: No, it's going to be a real restaurant, not one that Indians and stuff go to!
Daddy: Frances, do you know what they call that? They call that "found art."
Frances: Dad, would you stop saying that!
I don't like these carrots much. Dad, did you follow the directions?
Daddy: Need any help?
Frances: No. This is so frustrating! Everybody stop arguing with me!
I wish I had five Dads: Then one could go to sleep, one could work, one could go get food if we needed some, one could exercise, and one could play with me. Actually, I need six Dads, so that one could play with Eleanor too.
Dad, look, I'm making a city.
I don't like coffee. I like marshmallows.
If you don't be angry at us, then I'll give you lots more Father's Day presents.
Daddy: Frances, you look like you got taller!
Frances: I've been taller every day.
Of course squirrels don't drink coffee, well, except for boy squirrels.
Daddy, you're a good man.
Frances: Daddy, I haven't seen you since Grandma was here.
Daddy: Last night?
Frances: Yes. That's a long time.
I like hugging you but not people in outfits. That's scary my whole life!
I know. I'll sell stuff. I have this kid's toy, some acorns, a pen. No, maybe I'll keep the pen, cause it's mine.
I wanted to go straight home to make a Website and write it down.
I'm gonna get my mail without any e-mail on it!
I have the cutest feet in the family.
I want to look passionable too!
Because you're a grown-up and you're supposed to know to pack a spoon, she didn't think she'd need to pack one.
Can you play just a little bit for a tiny bit of hours?
Dad, I'm a vampire and I've got my vampire animals to help me.
Daddy: I'd like to make you vice-president of sales.
Frances: Dad! I'm a girl.
Daddy: You can still be vice-president.
Frances: Oh, okay!
Pretend you're at a meeting and you have to tell me meeting stuff and meeting work.
My friends say the biggest number is google or infinity, but I think it's a million.
It's nice to have this time with you, just the two of us.
Why do boys always look like me and always eat the same.
Frances: Dad, you're my inpiration.
Daddy: Where'd you learn that?
Frances: On my computer. It told me so.
Mommy, I really want to dream and I can't think of dreams with you here.
I'll bet you wish you were five like me so you wouldn't die so soon.
[Waking up to her hands being asleep] I want my hands clear!
This money is important to me. It's magic.
If I don't get an A+ then I won't win. If I get a zero then I will lose.
I have a sniffly body, a cold who keeps coughing and sniffling.
I'm a naked butt crazy-haired girl!
2006
6 years old
"Butt" isn't good, unless you say "But I didn't go to the zoo."
Dad, have you ever had a problem before? Have you ever tried to figure out the good side of it?
July is my bestest year ever because it's my birthday, and I lost a tooth, and we had fireworks, and I get to go to the zoo. I think I've had the bestest year ever!
How can she be made out of junk when she's prettier [watching "Robots"]
Ellie, how bout you count how much hours I can go underwater?
Okay, now I'm freakin' out 'cause I'm thinking if I'm real or if I'm not, and that makes me wonder!
If I went up to touch the sun, I'd be almost half way to earth.
If at first you don't exceed, try, try again.
Why do we go to school?
Dad, you need to be a little more ... not chubby.
Dad, wishes don't come true. Why do you say that? Because a long time ago, I made a wish and it didn't come true.
Boys are never pretty ... unless they're girls.
I backwards stuff, like in and on.
Wanna play the silent game?
First the two cats will die, and then you, Dad, or Mom, and then Ellie and then maybe I'll die.
What's experience mean?
I see a humongous cloud in the whole wide world.
Whenever a cheetah eats a dear, it's eating what it ate.
What's time passing mean?
Which picture is better and the other picture is better too.
Hello to earth, Dad!
I showed him to a small park a day ago.
I changed my boyfriend that was Ethan. So I changed my boyfriend to Ryan. Ethan was too smart, but Ryan was smart and nice.
Mommy, there's nothing you can say that doesn't have a word.
Daddy: Someone as smart and beautiful and funny as you, Frances, will have lots of boyfriends if you want to.
Frances: Yeah, but not losers okay.
This is the monkey in powerpuff girls, this one you count triangles — there are seventeen — and this one is the earth being destroyed. That's me, right there.
Dad, he rides a motorcycle. That's the coolest thing about him.
Dad, if you want, you can wish for that on a wishing star.
I'm gonna draw the earth. Not really. I'm gonna draw everything that's in the world. Then I'll make the sun.
I can put that on if you don't want to make me look like a superstar.
Professors make things that are cool and have a neat house.
bisumw are god ["blossoms are good"]
I see a thousand stars: one shaped like a pony that looks like a donkey, but that's okay.
I like ham sandwiches. I just don't like ham.
Daddy, your hair looks better scribbled.
See sometimes, wishes you get them. But then you get them more than you want.
Dad, I'm doing an optical course!
In terms of him, I have not one tiny smudge of like.
She's not fat, she's just not skinny.
[Watching a cartoon]: That's so fake looking!
When something goes behind the clouds, don't go into the woods.
I don't think my story will be picked though, because growth rayguns aren't real. Only scientists can make one of those!
I don't know what I'm going to be when I grow up: A magician, a superstar, or a veterinarian!
What's bitchuaries [obituaries]?
Dad, I'll give you some of my money, because I have about ten-two-thousand money at home.
Dad, what particular thing do you need? Dad, what's particular mean?
I agreed in my body, so I couldn't stop.
Father's Day is my dance performance, so that's what I'm giving you — well, a video tape. You'll have to make it. I'll give it to you.
2007
7 years old
When I grow up I could be a superstar, but not everyday ... because also some days I'd doPlay-Doh art.
You know, you could have just told me you missed me, instead of giving me 100 things.
I'd like the fish who's floating upside down and not looking too good.
At the performance, don't even wave at me or I will get caught up with you.
Roly-poly do not like fairs.
Dad, look at my feet when they get mad.
People don't run out of money a lot because, when they spend it, people give them some.
Toys are the point of life.
School makes life hard. If you didn't have school, you could learn in your head.
Dad, I forgot when it is that you hope to die. It would be really nice if you could wait until I'm old enough to look after myself.
I keep forgetting my memory.
Pretend you're my Daddy cheetah and I'm your baby cheetah. And that's nice because we can sleep anywhere.
Eleanor: Those boys are really annoying.
Frances: Ellie, all boys are annoying.
To-Do List: Pool, park, tiniss [tennis], librariey [library], mole [mall], Paulen Park [Pullen Park], ensiid [inside], attsiid [outside], the hile [hill], the cimmputer [computer].
Frances: Mom, in the play today I got to be lazy cat. Would you want to be the red robin, the lazy cat, the lazy dog, the lazy duck, or the narrator?
Mom: Oh, probably the narrator.
Frances: But, when you're narrator, you don't get to have cake with the rest of them.
Dad, who invented Christmas?
We made a play called The Mexican and the Princess. I was a bird, the princess, and a dragon, and Cathy was the Mexican prince, the narrator and the horse.
Boys don't have a circle of life.
Besides, when you're in eighth grade or getting into high school, it's more likely for you to be the one who talks more than anyone else in the house.
Being the narrator is no fun because you don't get to dress up.
Dad, can you help me put this in my hair? I named it twinkle and it's going in my hair.
He should make something up right there, because nobody ever steals an idea.
Some line in some program I forgot went like this.
I wanna watch a scary movie. THAT always makes me fall asleep.
I think I'm going to be an artist. Or a maker of things.
Who invented words, Dad?
2008
8 years old
Sometimes, when I'm bored, I like forget how to walk.
I don't know why people always say girls have a code. Well, maybe there is one, but I don't know it yet!
The rule is that there are no rules? So there is a rule!
Ew! Kissing always makes the worst sound. It sounds like they're dissecting someone!
Today I think I saw the oldest Burton film. You know how most of them are about nine years old. This one was 24 years old. And it was in black and white!
Couldn't it be called something other than Hellboy? Because everything except the boy is bad. Well, at least the first word didn't use the word that starts with "F"!
Well, I don't care. I only care if it gets on my nerves ... and then later today I'll think about you.
Just remember, Mom. Everything you've been doing with Ellie you're going to have to do all over again with me.
Dad, you don't look Canadian, but you talk Canadian!
I made a wish to God, and not one of those wishes like "I want a baby cheetah," but a nice wish, about good things like being nice.
One-hundred dollars! It's so shiny! I'm going to name it. Look at you ... beautiful glory. I will wipe it on my skin.
By the way, there's this guy, and he works for a computer company. And he said I could work there. But first, I have to write this thing about the earth. And there have been ten people who have tried to work there, and they tried this test and failed. So I have to try. Shhh!
I had a bad idea and I accidentally did it.
I think Patrick is the most Irish person in our class.
What part of your body makes you love someone?
In second grade, I've grown stronger in two ways: my arms and in terms of being able to say things to people that are hard.
In prison, do you get snacks every day.
2009
9 years old
At the party, we have preserved seats!
I wanna be Darth Vader, not fight him!
[On "peacemaking" groupwork] Argh. It was so frustrating. It was like having a conflict inside of a conflict
The spider in my dream was the size of a steering wheel.
Dad: That's the guy who invented Spider-man.
Frances: Dad, the guy who invented Spider-man was a spider!
I wrote my name and his equals heart. I'm married to him in my mind.