4 years old

Air only has three letters and there's so much of it!

What was I thinking, I'm not supposed to do that!

I'm a Doctor too. I'm Dr. Eleanor, because I have a Doctor's Kit.

Cats have upside-down Vs for ears, ovals for eyes, Cs for paws, and squares for tummies.

Mommy says you're doing show-and-tell for 100 people today. What are you going to show them?

Snow White is a wimp.

Daddy, why don't we take Mommy — you always get very very lost.

Daddy, you know what: Mommy makes more money than you do.

Uh-Oh, I think that we're going the right way.

This time I want to play a game that let's me win.

Daddy, if you open your eyes soon it'll be very day in just a minute.

I keep banging myself to the ground and the floor is very sharp.

If he likes blue shirts, I can borrow it to him.

I love my new babensuit.

I'll eat this much of the waffle circle so I have a cookie circle left in my tummy.

It's hard to do what you want to do but you can do it if you want to.

Daddy, softsquare doesn't *do* anything, *I* do.

I like Daddy in the next room 'cause then I can make him get me things.

Dad, it's just words. It doesn't *do* anything.

We played science today. Science had lots of bugs.

Hmmm. The World-Wide Web. What's that state called?

When you kiss you have to hold on so you don't fall off.

It's got a bathroom. Every place has a bathroom in it.

Mom: There are 26 letters in the alphabet.
Eleanor: How many numbers are there in the number pile?

Daddy, who's Elvis?

I remember, it's the coffee shop with the very pretty bathroom in it.

I'm really funny, but Daddy's even funnier than me!

I can't find my cat. I looked in the right place but it wasn't there!

Daddy: Penny for your thoughts?
Eleanor: It costs five dollars.

Listen to this: this might be a very high number; it might be higher than where the polar bears live.

Daddy, don't worry. I'm gonna go kill some people. I'll be right back.

How do we get money from the computers?

[Day after Christmas] Would you like to play a game with this rock?

I didn't made it up. I just wanted to play it. It's a game I used to play when I was a baby.

I pretended that there was someone in the room beside me to close their eyes and try to find it.

Okay, I'll try the chicken, but only if there's not much chicken in it.

Daddy: Is that a magic wand?
Eleanor: No silly, it's not real!

Daddy, you need to be more serious ... like Mommy.

I hate boys. Well, I don't hate you, Daddy, just boys.

Dad, I don't want there to be any surprises today.

I want the Biker Barbie — she wears lots of tatoos you know.

Whoops, I drew five legs accidentally. It's a special zebra that's all.

I can't watch Babar tonight. It's a privilege thing with Mom.

Mommy, you know what: number 2 movies are scarier; they're scarier and shorter.

I'm not putting on a very a lot, I'm just putting on a little a lot.

A seven, a zero, a triangle and a flag: LOVE upside down.

Charlie Brown likes decorating Christmas trees, but he still doesn't be happy.

Being a doctor would be hard work: I'd have to wear a bun in my hair, so I could wear a tethescope.

Making friends is easy: you ask a boy or girl to play and, if they say no, you ask another one.

I don't love the President because it's a grownup show.

Do peanuts have peanut butter in them?

If the hare hadn't sat down and slept, the tortoise wouldn't have won the race.

Okay Screams [Description of a computer dialog box].

I always remember, but sometimes I forget.

When they say batteries not included that means it doesn't need any batteries.

Sam, don't eat so fast! You're going to get heartburn. Cats have hearts too, you know.

Daddy I know everything, except how to tie stuff.

I like surprises and dreams, except for the dream about the house burning down. I really hate that one.

4 years old, continued

How many birthdays are you going to have, Daddy. Fifty-one?

What's a war? Is that a war, the red part?

God means we like the world and a few other things, except I don't know what other things it means.

I colored inside the box so that I wouldn't have to wait for the outside to dry.

When it starts to rain the sky moves it everywhere all around the world, well only in America, well, North Carolina really.

The snow doesn't melt in Canada and the sun never shines.

The ducks won't think I'm bread to eat because bread doesn't have eyes.

Tarrick didn't know that we were animal. He thought we were part human and part animal.

Daddy: You've got a lot of cereal there.
Eleanor: That's why I'm flattening it out like a big cereal pizza.

I think they just painted a picture of us and put us through a machine to make us real.

How do the blinker arrows know where you're going?

When I grow up I'm going to get pregnant everyday.

Sometimes, when you start crying, you can't even feel the hurt at all.

Normal means that if there's clouds everywhere and something makes them go away, that's back to normal.

The whole world will be covered with feathers if the feathers keep coming out of pillows everyday.

The way I draw butterflies is different than butterflies have to be.

Everyone wants a cake in this type of world.

5 years old

Daddy, how do the days change?

I hate coffee but when I'm older I may need to have some.

Remember one day when I was still five years old, I had a waffle in the middle of the night.

Dad, I'll draw what your lungs look like when you smoke, and you're not going to be very happy about this. Would you like me to draw it gray?

Daddy: Daddy doesn't really like Windows 2000.
Eleanor: I do, they let the air in.

Looking at the computer my eyes get all wrinkly and I have to shake my head or I can't see too good!

I know it seems as though I haven't eaten all my eggs, but that's not what I'm trying to do.

It's a day that's even worse than having bumblebee stings or shots or boo-boo's.

Daddy, how high does space go? Does it bump into any planets or anything?

In North Carolina or in North America, none terrible things always do happen, and that's what I'm trying to tell you. Am I making sense?

It's good that I've got a silly Daddy so that I could be born silly too.

Guess what you'll never guess: today I went to the library all on my own.

Daddy, if you write 10 chapters, remember that my Disney book has more chapters than 10. It has 23 chapters.

I'm very right about things. Myself has different things and you don't even know what I have.

Mommy: Doesn't it feel bad when you get a time-out?
Eleanor: Yeah, well I get a little rest.

Daddy, what am I going to do someday to make you cry.

It felt like I was in the letters walking through them and making footprints.

You put your hands like this — it's a Superman blessing!

Remember Daddy, last time you tried to take a shortcut it turned out to be a longcut.

I always wondered where boo-boo's come from.

How to make a pond: Number 1, dig a big hole, 2, put water in it, 3, find rocks, 4, put leaves down, 5, get a fishing pole, 6, go get fishes and ducks, there isn't a number 7, unless we had pet fish.

Eleanor: Dad, what would you like for desert?
Daddy: I'd like bird pooh pie.
Eleanor: Okay, but you're going to have to have a bird with that.

Yeah I'm not going to play with guys that are that mean because, even if I play with them, they'll probably still be mean.

Daddy: Are you problem-solving with the computer?
Eleanor: No I'm helping a pony.

When I'm married I'm not going to talk as much as you and Mommy need to talk and talk.

5 years old, continued

The King is very powerful, but he's not very good at playing. He's kind of slow. The Queen is really powerful: that's what Mommy says.

I make the very bestest coffee.

Mom, it looks like I have to go on vacation.

Mom, I don't look the way I wanted.

Those are Barbies. Those are things I guess I could be when I grow up. I want to be a busdriver.

You draw a star by starting with an upsidedown four.

Can I see the thing where you keep the funny things I say? I remember saying something silly about your table of contents.

I know everything. That's too much pressure.

That's exactly what I kept thoughting you would say.

Dad, pears aren't deserts. They have to have real bad sugar in them.

When I got hit in the head with the ball, they turned off the lights.

The Indians sure must have been pretty surprised when we showed up.

It's a book machine, and I've got paper. Let's make my computer book!

First we make up a story and then put it in the book machine, and then it slides out.

On the computer all you have to do is press letters, instead of writing, and it goes faster.

You know what Dad. If you smoke you'll get lung cancer and you'll die. You'll die. Well, I love you, bye, see you tomorrow.

Then I don't want to be a girl! There's too much things I don't know about.

Dad when you pick me up like that it makes me feel like I'm flying.

That's why I stay with Mommy a little bit to help her feel better, because she's got that little flu she's got. I make her feel better.

When I get married Daddy, will you come to my performance?

Today I drew a picture of God; I don't know what color it is because it's everything, and God keeps going just like space is. Everything is a very light color, like this wood.

Remember Daddy, lots of magic things happen the night before Christmas.

Mommy, milk is not the most important thing in the whole wide world.

Daddy you're not being a very good Daddy for a little kid. You should know better.

Dad, you are not looking after yourself and you are not looking after your car.

A dream is just thinking, except you're thinking at night, well actually your brain tells you what to think, so you're not really thinking it, you're dreaming it.

Dad you always believe in anythings. I believe in little things.

Dad you should know that sometimes thinking is not really the best thing to do.

Dad, do you promise you'll eat this treat after you eat your dinner.

There's one thing that your chin does. It helps your face stay together.

Do you know why it's called a TV dinner? Because it's shaped like a TV.

I think he's a little bit in the middle for behavior. If you're really good you get three hearts.

The older boys say "ah she's just a girl; she's not doing anything..." and, really, they're not doing anything at all!

The heart says TLC, for The Learning Channel.

I am not stubborn! And anyways what does that mean?!

Ah Dad, not another "talk about it" thing.

PBS is always right because the people are just acting, and they know it.

Uh, Dad, aren't you too old to go to College.

This story is "The True Story of the Tooth Fairy," except only a bit of it is true.

Try to find a word that rhythms with "Bucket" Dad.

Then I fell down and, you know what? I think I got heart burns.

Hey Dad, tomorrow's my allowance: another dollar and I can get away from here.

For such a small book, it sure has a really big story in it!

A clue is something you get when you're hardly sure you've got it.

I'm not like 2 years old: I'm 5!.

The constellations let me find my way home.

I don't want to do it the right way. I just want to do it the fun way.

I really like Bruce Springsteen's song, "Pink Catalog."

I wish I were a cat. You can step on bugs whenever you want to and sleep wherever you want.

A thing-a-ma-jig is something that you don't know, that's what it is.

It's so sour that it can like make your face go blind.

[After evening TV] Dad, what's a grenade?

Dad, you don't really know how I like my hair being done.

10 years old

I also dreamed that you were covering me up and kissing me goodnight. Was that right?

She seems to know all the basic tricks to being annoying.

If you can't think of anything to look forward to, think you'll finally get the thing over with.

One interacts with the opposite gender as much as one would with wallpaper.

I was trying to stay out of the picture so you didn't get me crying and Frances smiling, unlike all of our pictures!

Dad, you never get tired of sliding. That's a rule of childhood.

Dad, it's 1st person: the person can't write, "I died," and then have it end.

Eleanor: I don't want to play anymore.
Frances: Then you're not my friend anymore.
Eleanor: Frances, we never really were friends. We're sisters.

I know I fear something. I just don't know what it is yet.

A friend can't really gossip about you because whenever they do, they're not a friend.

You don't understand childhood: If someone laughs at something you feel good about, normally you feel bad.

Are sodium and cholesterol good?

Once upon a time there were two princesses named Eleanor and Frances, and they longed for adventure.

When you've lived with Mom as long as I have, you know she's going to tell you to have milk with your cookie.

Why's it called "kidnapping" when it's not a kid?

Mom says that you tend to over-analyze things, Dad.

Hey, it's one of those motivational posters, except in the wrong direction.

I just realized, there's really no such thing as opposites.

It's not a "pile" if you're grading on the computer Dad.

I hate my music class. It's pretty hard to make people hate music.

Hey dad! look at this powerpoint of pretty pictures!

Me and Mommy are going to buy you a bigger car so that you don't have to drive that little one, Daddy. It goes way too fast.

16 years old

I think I'm an existentialist, Dad. Why are you smiling so much?

Suicide is not for Facebook.

It's fun; it's new words!

Are we having a metaphysical conversation, or is this conversation too small?

If I were able to stop time, could I still watch TV?

Build-a-bottle: Sounds like build-a-beer for alcoholics.

I like wolf-whistling at guys 'cause it's really degrading.

I over-estimate the general population a lot.

I like time-management games — stuff where you need to do lots of things at the same time. Most of my girlfriends do too.

Dad: I'd go on a date with Madonna.
Eleanor: Well d'uh Dad, I'd go on a date with Madonna.

11 years old

Dad: Some women like to break up men's friendships: that's how important men are.
Eleanor: No, Dad, that's how important women are.

There are too many books. I want to read all of them. Well not all of them. Just the good ones.

I'm used to little kids sticking to me like burrs. Actually, I'm not used to it: I'll never get used to it.

Dad: You're always nervous on your first day of school, even when you're a Mom.
Eleanor: Yeah, you don't want to be late or you'll ruin your reputation.

I like exploring better than learning.

Eleanor: Dad, wanna see the cat I'm drawing?
Frances: Isn't it supposed to have arms?!
Eleanor: I'm not done yet!

Dad: Franklin doesn't sound very happy.
Eleanor: No. If Mole were smart enough, he'd be able to tell.

I hate those things [manuals]: they're all mixed up, nothing's where it should be, and they never help.

He's funny when he's funny, and he's rarely funny.

Trying not to think about it won't help you not think about it. You can't push it out of your mind without thinking about it.

Your PhD is in a question with no answer?

Dad: I consider this hard work.
Eleanor: Some job, Dad.

Frances, you can't *do* something every, single second of your life. Just stare out the window!

I don't think right when I'm at your place.

Frances [handing Eleanor a ball]: Okay, Eleanor, save this.
Eleanor: I can't save it: we're not at the computer.

I'm trying to figure out how to make you believe enough in the character you're playing that you care when something happens to it, even though it's happening to you.

Silence makes my ears itch.

I know people think I'm a perfectionist, but how hard is it to get a dollar sign before a one and to capitalize things.

What kind of computer whould I be? A nice pretty iBook: Mom's computer, except with all the glitches taken out.

17 years old

Neuroscience is hard.

Eleanor: I had my phone in my back pocket last night and, when I looked today, it wasn't there.
Dad: So you're telling me it's the phone's fault.
Eleanor: Yeah, basically.

Eleanor: The word for having a phobia about long words is hippopotomonstrosesquipe-daliophobia.
Dad: So if you've got a fear of long words, you can't describe it?
Eleanor: Ya, fun eh! It's one of those irony things.

The only system you can fix is one that isn't already in place.

There are only so many directions I can avert my eyes.

The first chapter did things with Chemistry, Biology, and Physics that I didn't know you were supposed to be able to do.

12 years old

It's a way to make some of the real world a game and you get to meet people or it's fun.

Weekly goals for Jan. 30, 2006: "Hack into XY's account and change layouts."

It's nice to talk to people who don't know what you look like or anything about you. If you're the most unpopular girl at school, you can still have a friend.

Why would you like a guy like that, I mean, a guy who won't let you do what you love, if it's not bad for you.

Mmm, smells like mathematics.

Sometimes Frances observes things too much!

13 years old

Dad, this is a creepy weird movie. What's wrong with Japan!?

The movie was breaking all the rules. Even the rules that make it good.

You're so adult-like. No one in my generation wouldn't know what markers to use with a whiteboard.

Um, going all Yoda on me again, Dad?

Apparently, as lots of computer games and TV have taught me, this is what I know about fighting.

The ocean, it moves, it does something, it's interactive. You poke a pool and it just sits there.

He argues with everything I say, even if it's instructions.

Have you ever noticed how weird our feet are? These are the questions that haunt me, Dad.

Why is rhyme spelt so weird?

Ah portfolio entries. I hate them with the power of a thousand suns, to quote Keith, our student teacher.

I hate Kids Bop. They take famous songs and they make them suck.

The sky looks just like the rainbow effect in Photoshop at 90 degrees linear and 70 percent opacity.

Oh ... But isn't 'lobbyist' just a name for prostitutes who work in Washington DC? At least that's what Dad said.

Eleanor: If it weren't for my friends, I don't know what I'd do. Because basically life's awful.
Dad: Well ... you've got a Mum and Dad who love you very much.
Eleanor: Yeah, but I've always had that.

Aren't you going to come over here and help me with your magical Daddy powers?

Canadians are so proud of themselves: look at all the little flags!

Dad: How much has YouTube changed your day at school?
Eleanor: A lot! Well, not learning.

I told him that his band beat the other bands by a mile, and he said, "Not quite a mile; more like 5000 feet," and I didn't have the heart to tell him that a mile is 5280 feet.