Ape

Well, whoever gave Plan 9 the turkey award obviously didn't watch this movie! The movie opens with a toy boat floating in a tub or something, and the craziness continues throughout the movie! I guess this was supposed to be a follow-up to King Kong, but even the original had better effects! This one was made in 1967 and starred Joanna De Varona who is better known as Joanna Kerns from the TV show Growing Pains!

Anyway, they're bringing this ape across the ocean for a zoo or something I guess, and the drugs that kept him under didn't quite last long enough, and he gets out in Korea. Before reaching the mainland, they have to pay tribute to Jaws I guess, so the 36 foot ape beats up a rubber great white shark in the ocean...don't really know why, I guess he just got in his way.

So, he stomps through one town and then Joanna Kerns gets to town to make a movie. Well, the Ape takes a liking to her and kidnaps her during one of the takes. Then these planes come after him to fire knock-out gas, but it blows away in the wind, and Joanna Kerns gets away. There's some guy who comes to rescue her...don't really know why she needs him there to run with her, but he thinks he's a big stud.

Ok, so now they're going to evacuate the city, so they come over a loud speaker...in English mind you...to tell the Koreans to move to the south. So then the ape keeps going, and in one of the funniest scenes, you see a cow...then you see some wind-up cow or something and the ape steps over him. He knocks down a plane or two later and gives them the finger...King Kong never had such an attitude ya know!

So anyway, Joanna Kerns goes to stay somewhere with this Korean family, and they're giving a puppet show to the Korean woman's kids. They keep hearing these huge footsteps, but don't think anything of it until the ape has her again! Also, something else they don't explain too well is why everything the ape hits all of a sudden catches on fire....must be that Korean wiring or something!

Also, the best thing in the movie is when one scene ends, and you can actually hear the director saying CUT! Just hilarious! Anyway, so now the ape has her again, and they fire all sorts of guns at him, even though the girl is in his hand. The ape finally puts her down, and the stud guy has to risk his life to hug her and get back to safety with her.

Ok, so then the same toy tank fires at the ape, and he blows it up with the same rock about three times. He's too stupid to run away, so he just keeps getting pelted. Jump cuts galore as they have to edit out the Koreans getting hit by fake rocks...now the toy tank...ok, maybe there were supposed to be more tanks...anyway, one of the tanks finally shoots the ape and he spits some blood. Finally, he falls, and the movie ends with the stud guy saying - He was just too big for a small world like ours!

Unbelievably ridiculous, but a classic that any B-Horror movie-goer must see! Next time, they need to leave the minatures to the Japanese!